Up at 6:30 AM

How did I wake up at 6:30....ON MY OWN? Well, now that I'm up, I should be somewhat productive, I guess. I'll go into work in about an hour-and-a-half. I'm so glad for how much I'm being scheduled. About five shifts a week right now at Flat Top and at least an article a week for The News-Sentinel. It's good to have a job where I have to write consistently and one where I can just move and feel needed in the moment. I'm finding out just how real it is that I don't do well with inactivity. Some days are fun to lay around and do nothing, but my mind quickly turns to this mushy smoothie type of substance (granted, at least it's a smoothie, but still...).

I'm not going to take the time right now, but soon I want to post a blog about a subject I cherish as my own future-existing child...The X-Files. Now, for any of you who saw that last abomination of a movie, I apologize. Because, as the world's 5th largest X-Files fan (I'm sure there's at least four people who could beat me out...I mean, I never made it to a convention), I surely had something to do with how horrible that movie was. So, in efforts of bettering the community one blog post at a time, stay tuned for my outline of the REAL 2nd X-Files movie where we literally erase the last one and start over where IT SHOULD HAVE STARTED. It may bring up some controversy, but when it comes to X-Files, I say bring it.

I know I've written a lot about riding my bike lately, but it's added so much to my daily well-being. Excerpt from my journal last night that I thought summed up why I love biking and how it helps me process things....

"Riding my bike to/from work has been so great for me. Ryan and I just rode to the Lawson's for a bonfire and riding home in the dusk reminded me of growing up - it's such a comforting feeling, riding home as night falls and the sun's heat closes its eyes.
"My soul feels lighter, I kid you not. Just being outside and active changes my outlook so drastically. Getting up earlier doesn't feel daunting..."
Later...
"I've tried to talk to God more as I ride, or just simply thanking Him for any random thing I think of...the breeze, cute babies...I want to get it, that whole "knowing God" thing. Where you trust Him even when He makes no sense. Or when He seems like He's doing something wrong. But how can I believe He's here? How can I believe any of this has an ultimate point or origin or destination?
"I love my life, but I'm afraid to because I think of that woman in Ecuador, falsly accused of drug smuggling and sentenced to eight years in prison. I think of that orphan in India who was so unloved her mother tossed her in the trash, bearing the scars from broken glass for the rest of her life, knowing they represent her first days of life. I think of that woman in my own city, pregnant at 16 and raising the baby alone, in constant agony over her future and alone.
"Why is my life so good and enriched and blessed? Sure, I lost a father to brain injury, but at least I have a father - not to mention one who so clearly loves me. Why would God allow me so many blessings and others so much poverty and illness and maltreatment? Why would a child be born only to be abused, molested and defiled?
"But even in these dark questions, my mind feels open to hope. The sun I've felt and absorbed during the days carries me in the nights. Quite literally, I think."