It doesn't happen a whole lot, but occasionally I'll be talking with someone and I mention something that labels me as "conservative" or "traditional." Ironic, since I feel like I'm super open-minded even if I do have convictions. I've never shied away from an open, calm discussion even if I super disagree with the other person.
Just getting married in my mid-20s got some surprising comments from co-workers at the time.
"But you're still so young."
"You seem independent. I'm just surprised."
Or best yet, "Are you pregnant?"
Nope. Just met a man that's awesome and that I want to spend my life with. Scratch that....an eternity with. Seriously, I may start a petition in heaven if marriage isn't a thing and I have to stalk Ryan just to be around him.
But that's a small example of what I'm getting at. Perhaps a better one is when I had a late-night girl talk with someone in college and was about to explain why I wanted to wait to have sex until I was married. The girl I was with was also raised in the "conservative, Christian" household, but only saw abstinence as unnecessary pleasure-deprivation and the result of too many centuries of repressed female sexuality.
Granted, I understood those points and agree to a certain point that sexuality is not appreciated enough in the church. And that women are held to different standards than men when it comes to sex.
Although, the frustrating part was that, instead of listening to my reasons, my friend said, "Oh, you're cute. I wish I was innocent like you."
Knowing my friend, this was a compliment, but it irked me. As in, I was pissed. Years later, and several times called "cute" or "innocent" when about to explain why I choose to be more "conservative" (if there really must be a label) I realize more why it rubs me the wrong way.
First, there's nothing "cute" about it. "Cute" implies that I'm some kind of naive little kitten that lives in a fairy world separate from reality, skating on rainbows and living on cotton candy...when, in fact, I'm fully aware of reality. It's not that I ignore the world, but I reject a lot of nonsense that it offers. Such as, the misconception that The Notebook is a good movie.
Second, I'm not innocent. Far from it. Am I a good person? Sure, I guess, since I try to be, but in the deepest part of my heart, I know the evil and cruelty that lurks in the dark places.
Another friend of mine once said, "You're the only person in the world that could feel bad for a serial killer." Pretty much, because there are very few times when I can't at least attempt getting inside another person's head to understand their side of the story. One of those rare cases is Walter White. Granted, he's not real, but still...I hate that guy.
Anyway, all that's to say that I totally understand why people disagree with what I think is right, but it's not fair to smile and label someone as "cute" or "old-fashioned" when they have really good, specific, logical reasons for living life in certain ways. There's nothing cute about seeing pornography as a crippling distortion of true sexual intimacy, or waiting to sleep with someone until marriage because I believe it's the ultimate physical expression of love and being with multiple partners creates a lot of physical and emotional risks. There's nothing cute about disliking the "torture porn" entertainment industry because, well, it's awful. I shouldn't have to explain why, but if you really care to hear all my reasons, please ask because I'll rant about it forever.
In conclusion, feel free to call me cute if I wear an adorable dress or host a Fancy Brunch party. I'm totally cool with that.
